Things You Should Never Buy: Mayonnaise

It's about time for another "Things You Should Never Buy" post! Today's installment is on mayonnaise. I was always scared to make it myself, because I thought it would be difficult and complicated, but it's really easy!

I needed some mayonnaise to make deviled eggs for a Halloween party I'm having tonight (more on that later). It's not something we usually keep around, and I was not going to buy a whole jar of processed food just to use a couple scoops. So I decided to make some myself!

I scoured the internets for recipes, and ended up just experimenting on my own. All the recipes I found used a whisk to hand mix the mayo, but eff that, ya'll. I busted out the blender. I also read that a warm bowl helps, so I filled the blender with boiling water and poured it out right before I started.

I started with two egg yolks* in the blender. I added maybe a teaspoon or two of apple cider vinegar, and a half teaspoonish of mustard powder.

I blended this a little bit, then very slowly starting drizzling in olive oil as I blended. I just kept adding olive oil slowly until it was about the consistency of regular mayonnaise. It ended up being almost 2 cups--which is good because the internets told me that 1 cup of oil to 1 egg is a good ratio.

It was really that easy!


* Make sure you use fresh eggs from a reliable source, since they will not be cooked. Salmonella is probably not fun.

Vacation Breakfast

I stayed at my parents' house this past week, and on Saturday my mom and I made a delicious breakfast of poached eggs over hash browns. My mom is a Master Poacher of Eggs, which is interesting, because she doesn't really cook much of anything else, and even some really talented home cooks avoid poaching eggs because it's supposedly so difficult. She's an egg savant.

Hash Browns

1 medium potato per person
1 medium white onion per 3-4 potatoes, diced
couple cloves of garlic
chili powder
salt
pepper
maple syrup

Halve and par boil the potatoes for about 10 minutes. Run cold water over them to cool them off, then grate them.

Melt a generous amount of butter over medium heat in a pan. (Put a wide, shallow sauce pan of water on the stove to boil at this step). Add everything but maple syrup to the melted butter. Cook, tossing it every few minutes until the potatoes are sufficiently browned, then drizzle a little maple syrup over top and cook for an additional 5 minutes or so.

Just before the maple syrup step, when your water is boiling, begin poaching your eggs. Crack them directly into the water, VERY gently. I poach them for exactly as long as the toaster takes to make toast on medium, because that's what my mom does. Even when I'm not actually making toast, I use the toaster to time the eggs. Because I've never bothered to just time how long the toaster takes and remember it. It's probably about 4 minutes--so the yolks are still drippy, but the whites are cooked. I don't know, just use your toaster.

Put the hash browns on a plate, and when the eggs are done, gently scoop them out of the water with a slotted spoon and place them over top of the hash browns.